I want to learn to let love move me beyond a life of ‘constant unhappiness’~ Vivian’s care stay report

Vivian is a Colombian woman who works as a corporate accountant in Canada. She has been friends with Konohana Family member Yuko since she went to Canada to study English eight years ago, and she got to know the Konohana Family through Yuko. This June, she came to Konohana Family for the natural therapy program to change her own life, which she herself says was “constantly unhappy,” with “anger inside myself.”
Her plan was to stay for two months, but she actually graduated from the program in one month. The following is a report of Vivian’s care stay, compiled by Yuko, who was in charge of serving as Vivian’s “care supporter” during her time in the program.


Vivian’s Care Stay Report

“First encounter”
Before we start looking back at Vivian’s care program, let me tell you a little bit about our first encounter.
I went to Calgary, Canada in January 2014 and became friends with Vivian at a language school. Vivian had started living in Calgary the year before due to her husband’s transfer; she had no acquaintances in Canada, and her husband was busy with work, so she was often lonely and depressed.

Vivian (left) and Yuko (middle) in Canada

We were in different classes, but we got to know each other through a mutual friend from the same school, a Brazilian woman. The three of us were all the same age, married, and hit it off right away. Since Vivian was in the same profession as I was, I felt quite at ease with her and visited her house several times. When I left town to travel to another part of Canada, Vivian and her husband drove me to the bus terminal on the day of my departure.

Ai-chan, Jiiji and Yuko at the lotus pond

In August of last year, Vivian contacted me for the first time in a long time. At that time, I sent her a picture taken in front of the lotus pond with Jiiji and his wife Ai-chan, and told her that I now live in the community and am happy having a spiritual family, though I got divorced. She said she would love to see the lotus pond, and after looking at our homepage, she sent us a message saying that she would like to take the natural therapy program.
Japan’s border had been closed for a while due to COVID-19, but in April the border closure was lifted at long last and we started the procedure to allow her to come here. She arrived in Japan on June 20th and began her roughly two-month stay in the Konohana family.

“Purpose of the care program”
The purpose of the care stay that Vivian wrote on her application was:

My constant unhappiness, and ups and downs through my day. I have had different experiences during my life that include my family and myself and I am still holding the bad experiences and have so much anger inside of me. I still have resentments about all the sad and unfair experiences that I had in the past. I want to learn to live with myself, accepting, forgiving, and loving without selecting who I should love and help.
I would like to improve my relationship with the world, my husband, and my family, but more importantly, with myself.


Pre-Care Stay Meeting

Vivian arrived at the Konohana Family and had her first talk with Jiiji. Here is what she was told at the time:
“You are not using your personality well. In order for us to get to know you in detail, write a diary every day as much as possible, look back on your past, and write memorable things, both good and bad, since you were a child.
You have jet lag (due to a 15 hour time difference), so relax first and get used to life here. From now on, we will have a meeting once a week. Try to experience the culture of the Konohana family as much as possible.”


First Day of Care Stay

  • Conversation with Jiiji at the apiary
    Jiiji at the apiary

    During a tour of the Konohana Family’s facilities, Vivian met Jiiji taking care of the bees at the apiary, and told him the following:
    “Before coming to the Konohana family, I had been avoiding eating flour and corn because they are indigestible and my stomach felt swollen after eating them. However, when I ate sweets made from wheat flour or corn grown here without using pesticides, my stomach didn’t feel swollen at all and no symptoms appeared the next day. Now I can eat them with great enjoyment.”
    Jiiji listened to her and replied as follows:
    “This is because you’re in a new environment and your mind is now in a positive state. In addition, the crops are very much influenced by the state of mind and vibration of the person who grows them. For example, if you grow crops for the purpose of making money, the vibrations of such greed will affect the produce. That is why we make it our top priority to cleanse our minds. Ever since its foundation, it has been the basic principle of the Konohana Family to cultivate hearts before cultivating the fields.”
    When Vivian asked, “How can I cleanse my mind?” Jiiji replied, “First of all, be honest. Honestly express both good and bad things, and receive the results.”
    Additionally, Jiiji said: “everything has its own vibration. For example, when one person enters a room, the atmosphere there becomes brighter, and when another person enters the room, it becomes darker. It depends on the vibration of the person. That’s why it’s important to be a person who emits good vibrations, and for that, it is important to be honest.”

  • Meeting with Jiiji in the evening
    Jiiji interpreted Vivian’s personality as follows from the perspective of Katakamuna, her generation, and the heliocentric calendar.
  • Katakamuna (Ancient Astrophysical Civilization of East Asia)
    The name “Vivian” can be divided into two parts, “vivi” and “an,” according to the nature of its sound. The vibration of “vi” has the characteristic of negatively comparing oneself with others and feeling fear. In your case, the “vi” is doubled, so it is emphasized.
    At the same time, you have “an,” with the vibration of higher consciousness. These two opposing qualities exist within you. There is a gap between these two natures, and they are in conflict, which makes your life difficult. So, you need to recognize your own negative thoughts, which are characteristic of “vivi,” control them, and turn your awareness toward higher consciousness.
    By emitting negative vibrations from yourself, you will be in trouble with things around you. The people and events you meet serve as a mirror for what you are emitting, and help you express your humanity. You have brought a difficult life program with you. But if you overcome it, it can be quite rewarding. Focus on the “an” vibration.
  • Generation
    Pluto Cycle Shows Generation Characteristics

    You belong to the Scorpio generation, which seeks new values and tries to live in its own way without being bound by the old generation, but also gets lost. People of this generation don’t have clear vision even though they have strong will, and don’t know how to live like themselves though they want to.
    Your current state expresses the characteristics of that generation well, so, from a cosmic perspective, you are on track with cosmic processes.

  • Heliocentric Calendar
    Analyzing the planetary positions of the solar system at the moment of your birth on the heliocentric calendar, Mercury and Venus are working together in relation to each other. Mercury is the planet of intuition and Venus is the planet of love and delicacy. This shows that you are a person who makes likes and dislikes based on intuition rather than thinking. The most pivotal part of your heliocentric calendar is the conjunction of Jupiter and Neptune. This shows that you have a desire to interact with a lot of people and the purpose of improving your spirituality.

After the foregoing analysis, Jiiji told Vivian, “I can see you becoming relaxed and renewed in the future, so please write down your experiences so far in your diary.”


1st week

Vivian went on a tour of the city with Yuko

Vivian, as she started her care stay in the Konohana family, was superficially acting calm, but actually she was worried about what the people around her thought, and was overly sensitive to her surroundings. In her diary, she asked Jiiji a lot of questions about whether she could be who she is and what she could do to get better.

~ Diary excerpt ~
*Text in red is Jiiji’s comment on her diary.
I do not know if you have noticed but I apologize in excess. I wonder if you have seen this? Is it ok?
Even with my food concerns, you are all accommodating (preparing a special menu for Vivian, who has many things she cannot eat); however, sometimes I wonder if this is bad, the fact that I am asking for this? Do I deserve to be taken care of?

Don’t come to conclusions based on your own way of thinking like that, but first try to honestly express your thoughts. Then it will become clear whether it’s fine as is, or whether you need to change your way of thinking. In this way, a person can transform into a new self.

I am a very sensitive person and I get easily affected by other people’s behavior or reactions, so I would rather hide my needs and not bother anyone.

Hiding your needs in such a way perpetuates your current condition. So don’t keep your conclusions in your own thoughts, but express them outwardly. This challenge will be very important for you from now on.

First of all, you need to simplify your way of thinking and interpretation. In other words, look back on yourself. This will allow you to objectively grasp what kind of tendencies and distortions you have in your way of thinking and interpretation. Otherwise, you will always be thinking about any problems in the same way as before, and that will lead to similar conclusions, not to your growth. This may be difficult for you, but it’s something you shouldn’t avoid, in order to increase your capacity as a human.
The purpose of this program is to make you realize that the various negative events you have experienced are important for your growth. If such an awareness arises in you, and if a feeling of gratitude springs up for what has happened to you, your symptoms will naturally be reduced and disappear. In other words, your symptoms originate in the mind. Having come across many cases like this through this program, what is unique about your case is that by overcoming this hurdle, you will reach a major turning point in your life. I can feel that kind of thing, so I’m looking forward to the results of this program. Though it will take some time, it is important, so let’s proceed carefully.

Vivian gained new insights from a welcome concert and comprehensive presentation from the Konohana Family.

~ Diary excerpt ~
I received the Konohana presentation yesterday and I am very surprised and amazed, not only because of the community itself and how it has been sustainable in all the areas that a human needs to live (spiritual, social, economical, etc.), but also because of the harmonious life that I can see every day, how people care about each other, how each talent is appreciated, how flexible and understanding the community is with each other.

Looking to the future, I also feel that the encounter with you is not just a short-term relationship, but the beginning of an ongoing connection.

My connection to this community and its values goes deeper than Yuko telling me that it existed, I can see that my deep inner-self was looking for the Konohana Family.

When I look back on my ups and downs in the last 5 years, I can clearly see that my intuition guided me here. I had always been questioning how we can live a life focused only on material things, slaves of laptops, how we can we devote ourselves to a life where there is no time to reflect or to look back or to be concerned about each other, how this can be a world where we compete all the time and where we are valued for who we are as professionals and what we can give as machines with no concern about who we really are as humans. Now that I see the values of this community, I can understand that real humans exist, that we can be ourselves.

By reading this description, I feel that the events that happened to you (which were rather negative for you) in your life so far are urging you to awaken to the truth. Congratulations!

Now, reflecting on my past, I have wounds that need to be healed, and I am now recognizing that they happened to me and they were necessary in order for me to grow as a person. The more I see my experiences from the past, the more I can understand why I am here. In questioning why things happened to me, I have started to find what I needed to learn from them.

I have been thinking that kind of awareness is what I should offer you.

Jiiji advised Vivian to look back at her rather negative past first.

  • 1st week meeting
    Vivian wrote about her trauma from past experiences in a diary and shared it in the 1st week’s meeting. Jiiji gave her the following advice about it.
~ Comment from Jiiji ~
Anyone can overcome such a traumatic experience by putting an end to the past event at some point and drawing it to a conclusion. The conclusion can actually be anything. When the time comes for you to stop your mind from dragging along past events, you will find that the fact is that the negative experience is not going on right now, nor has it defiled you. As long as you continue to perceive the past as you have, you will remain in your present state of mind for the rest of your life. Make a wise decision. Simply put, be a broad-minded person.

At the beginning of the meeting, the notion of toku (virtue) was shared. People with toku experience a good flow of things and are tolerated even if they don’t follow the rules, while on the other hand, people without toku somehow receive complaints no matter how strictly they follow the rules, and things don’t go well. So the importance of accumulating toku was shared.
As a goal for the next week, it was suggested that Vivian maintain an objective point of view, rather than being emotional, to broaden her world view, and to think in a reasonable way.

From this week’s meeting onwards, Vivian started trying to look at herself objectively.

~ Diary excerpt ~
I woke up with a thought, an idea, after our meeting last night. My idea is to start this journey by being aware and conscious of the things that happen to me every day. If I am the one who causes my own experiences, I want to see what in specific I am doing. I am aiming to focus on that these days, and need to learn how to read things carefully without judging. I know this process can take time because some distractions can make me lose focus. I believe that by starting with this approach it will be easy to implement change little by little. I do not want to rush this process.

As I told you in the meeting yesterday, I recommend that you always give priority to having an objective point of view, not being emotional, broadening your world view, and thinking and acting in a reasonable way. Keep these things in your mind at all times.


2nd week

Vivian began to participate in the family’s various daily activities

One day at dinner Vivian talked to Junzo and Keigo, who, like Vivian, have dakuten (voiced consonants) in their names, and learned that people with voiced consonants have a common tendency to feel fear when faced with something new or when they open their hearts to others. At the same time, Vivian found out that the reason why Junzo plays various roles (chicken care, making soy sauce, working at Lotus Land, acupuncture, etc.) is because he makes use of the characteristics of people with dakuten voiced consonants, who worry about various things and get distracted easily.

~ Comment from Jiiji ~
By meeting people with similar tendencies, you may be able to recognize your own tendency to let your thoughts produce negative ideas and actions rather than finding the positive aspects of a situation. It is also a chance to gain the wisdom to make positive use of these shared characteristics. If you encourage each other instead of comforting each other, and move towards growth, you will develop a good relationship with these people.
  • Turning point 1 – Case of the Japanese language class
    When Vivian told Yuko that she had time and wanted to take an online Japanese class, Yuko told her, “since you are at Konohana, why don’t you do something that you can only do here, such as going and helping somewhere that interests you? As Jiiji told you, you are now in the care period, so you’d better give top priority to facing your heart rather than learning Japanese.”
    In the afternoon, Vivian looked back on it and thought she had been in a bad mood during that discussion, so she talked about it to Yuko. At first, Vivian thought it was unfair that she couldn’t learn Japanese even though she wanted to, but when she looked at it from a different perspective, she thought what Yuko told her made sense and decided not to take Japanese lessons but to practice it in everyday life. She also said that she was hesitant to work without an interpreter, but that it would be possible to communicate on her own with gestures.
    Yuko passed on Jiiji’s comment to her: “Attend to the highest priority first, and it will bring good flow. If you start with the lower priority, it’s just your self-centeredness.” Vivian seemed to get the point and feel refreshed, and said, “Thank you!” After this, her expression began to brighten.
~ Diary excerpt ~
This was an important realization for me. Now I can see that I have done the same thing before, neglecting the importance of my spiritual path and growth only because my physical needs and desires were my first priority.

It is very helpful for your maturation in the future by to calmly look back on such cases (your unconscious habits) that have occurred in the past.

In light of this experience, I would also like to try to go with the everyday flow, without needing to satisfy my needs and my desires. For instance, being busy with work does not allow me to focus on myself.

You should always check what it means to be “busy”. “Busy” is the mindset of forgetting the priorities of what to do and having multiple things on your hands at the same time. At such times, if you calmly prioritize what you most need to do now, and do what you need to do steadily, you can break through the situation without feeling the pressure of being “busy”. As a result of that, the flow will be smooth. If you think about a lot of things and hold all of them at once, the flow will definitely get worse.

Two days later, Vivian helped pack lunches for delivery and wrote the following in her diary.

~ Diary excerpt ~
This morning during the activity of packing the Bento Boxes, I focused on the tasks that were assigned to me. I noted that I didn’t put any sentiments into that, I just did what I was asked to do, and if there was something else I saw I could help with, I just did it. I didn’t question myself about what people may think or what they would criticize; I am learning to stop predicting the results. There were moments when I noted that my mind wanted to betray me by overthinking or making me feel that I wasn’t go to be able to do it; in these cases I just let my thoughts pass very patiently and kept working on the tasks. This activity made me feel good, I put my energy and my consciousness into it and I can feel that it went very smoothly.

Expressing something in difficult words or trying to solve the problems like an instruction manual will inflate your tendency to assume the result before it comes about, and lead to trying to obtain the result you want. In that case, you have to worry up front about what is going to happen even though nothing has happened yet.
This is a characteristic of humans only, and those in such an emotional state of mind cannot live intelligently. Modern society is also stuck in such a pitfall. If many people learn to avoid this, it will lead to calm and rich days with less expenditure of energy.
This may seem like a challenge for individuals, but if more people live such refreshing days, it will lead to a better society. I think this is very important, and that’s why I am doing this work. I would also like you to participate in the movement to improve the world by making your own days healthy. After reading today’s diary, I’m looking forward to the future even more.
  • 2nd week meeting
    Jiiji told Vivian as follows:
    “You’ve been working passionately on this program, and you’re seeing good results, so this program’s effort to understand your personality will be completed in four weeks. After that, we will give you some presentations to enhance your spirituality. Today is the turning point of those four weeks. You have learned about the negative things that you yourself have been creating thus far, and from now on, you will learn how to go beyond that and positively learn from things around you, like people, events, news, and social conditions. After that, you will get presentations to expand your view of the world, and you will become a person who can convey important things. And even after you go back to Canada to be far away, it surely has the meaning to be there. Whether near or far, each one has a role to play in each position, and each is important.”


3rd week – Change

Vivian made sweets for everyone with maple syrup from Canada

This week Vivian was very active, working in the kitchen to make sweets and egg dishes, helping with sushi decorating, experiencing soy sauce making, and helping deliver vegetables. Gratitude began to well up in her for various things every day.

  • Turning point 2 – Kitchen incident
    Vivian helped wash the corn in the kitchen, but she was only instructed to wash it, so the wormy part of the corn was left unremoved. Miho-san, who instructed her, left to do her exercises, and Vivian washed the corn alone. Misa-chan told Miho-san that she had been irresponsible about it, but Miho-san didn’t accept that at all, which made Misa-chan angry, and they started arguing. Since Vivian doesn’t understand Japanese, she didn’t know what they were talking about, except that her name appeared in the discussion. At dinner time, Vivian looked depressed and her tone was more down than usual. She told Yuko that she would like to talk about what had happened that afternoon when she had time.
    The next day, she went to a bee farm in the Asagiri plateau with the beekeeping team, talked with Jiiji, refreshed herself in nature, and completely forgot about what happened in the kitchen. In her diary that day, she wrote that she grasped her shortcomings (her habit of not asking questions immediately though she doesn’t understand) from what happened in the kitchen the day before, and she expressed her determination to change this and her gratitude for what had happened. The supporter shared this event at the community meeting, and it was a great learning experience for Vivian. She was surprised and impressed by the fact that there was a place to learn that everyone could look back on what had happened and make use of it in the future.
~ Diary excerpt ~
People caring about others’ well-being, honesty, transparency, and the humbleness to recognize that we all made mistakes impressed me the most. I heard Misa-Chan apologizing to me for the confusion created (nobody else does this). This is something you don’t usually see in the western world. In situations like this people usually just forget and move on. People don’t reflect, and that’s why we live in such a conflicted world. This is definitely something that I am taking with me and applying to my day-to-day life.

In order to live in harmony, you first need to accurately look back on your own problems. Once you’ve met done that enough, the next step is to verify the other person’s problems. Then, convey your thoughts to the other person with a calm attitude that does not carry emotions. Keeping this order in mind will give the community learning opportunities and move things towards harmony. If this cannot be done by an individual, it is important for them to develop the ability with the help of others. Then it will be a place of joy where everyone can work together, help each other, and move forward.

In the process of climbing the a mountain and trying to reach the peak, one of the most important things for me is making sure that every step you walk is encouraging, harmonious, and an inspiration for others, and I feel that during my journey here (on this mountain), I am receiving the inspiration and example from all you through these experiences in my day-to-day life. I know one day I will be the inspiration for many people out there.

Great! By being with more people, the path to great joy will be even more joyful and will bring us true affluence. Let’s do it together anytime, anywhere.
  • 3rd week meeting
    Jiiji told Vivian the following from the Katakamuna perspective:
    Your “me (meaning both “eye” and “sprout” in Japanese)”, which can see things well, is now starting to sprout.
    This journey is to clarify it, and it is important to awaken that potential. You have had a turbid and negative nature so far, just as the sound “vivi” in your name indicates. However, by understanding your own turbidity, “vivi” becomes “hihi”, the original sound without turbidity. “Hi” is the sound that marks the beginning of everything, so it means “a restart.”Jiiji also interpreted the meaning of “ai” (meaning “love” in Japanese) from the perspective of Katakamuna as follows:
    “A” indicates the vibration of a higher dimension, “i” indicates the positioning of the first particles that appear in the phenomenal world, and all phenomena in this world are born from “ai (love).” In other words, the experience that seemed bad for Vivian, and the fact that she is here now, have all been due to the love of God.As an assignment for the fourth week, she was given the theme of writing everything in the diary as it is, but with a positive perspective. Also, she was told that she could start studying Japanese (which would help her understand Katakamuna) after the 4th week, and explore various spiritual worlds.


4th week – Transformation

Harvesting peanuts together

Vivian had a migraine headache and a sore throat amidst the spread of the new coronavirus in Japan, so she was placed in a simple quarantine just in case. She spent most of the week in her room or going for walks alone, and her migraines persisted. Though she didn’t have much time to communicate with her supporter during this period, from the supporter’s viewpoint, she seemed to be in good condition, just like a butterfly in its chrysalis when it stores up the energy to fly out.

~ Diary excerpt ~
Perhaps this day I don’t have much to express, I am trying to keep my mind quiet without any effort by letting any thoughts come and go without getting attached to any of them.
I have chosen to remain calm and awake with no expectations. All I can say for now is that being in this state brings me peace and comfort. I can hear the birds singing, the sound of crickets, people laughing and talking, the cars going around. I can feel my own body, my belly going up and down with my breath. I can feel my finger touching the keyboard. I’m concentrating on everything that is present.
This state of being present provides me with the tools to deal with whatever life presents, and I can assure that this is my desired moment. I have also chosen to live in the experience I want to have; by setting aside what I am going to be, I’m connecting with the universe to follow what it has for me: love, peace, happiness, compassion, and well-being.

You may not always be in that stable state of mind. But once you reach that point, you will be able to return to that stable spiritual state no matter what conditions come your way. So enjoy living (relish the moment). OK?
  • 4th week meeting – Graduation from the natural therapy program
    Jiiji told Vivian as follows:
    It is nice that this final week in quarantine was brought at just the right time as a week of self-focus. Since you are now free of unnecessary thoughts and focusing on being present, you now feel things differently than you used to. In your remaining days here after the program ends, we will give presentations to further deepen your spiritual learning.
~ Diary of the last day of the program ~
This morning I woke up reflecting about all I have lived during the four weeks that I have been here.
I can see the difference between me now and the Vivian that came on day one in Japan. I can see how I have learnt from what you have taught me through my daily writings, how I have been able to discover different character traits within myself that I have never seen before — my capacity to control emotions without leaving aside the feelings of love and compassion that I have for humans, animals, nature, and overall, the universe.

This means that what you have experienced, including the negatives for you, has prompted you to awaken.

I am also working on the ability to recognize that behind every suffering there are also learning opportunities, which in the end have made me the person that I am; I have chosen to forgive and accept all these lessons from my past.
Moreover, my experiences at this place have allowed me to immerse and to recognize and really appreciate the fact that we don’t need to have material things to be happy. I don’t see anyone here trying to compete or look better; I can see genuine people and I feel the sense of belonging and commitment to this community through the hard work and dedication of the members. Living with all of you has demonstrated to me that being honest and opening my heart will always allow me to be myself, to reflect, to change ,and to receive even more blessings from the universe.
I want you to know that my experience here has given me the keys to open my heart and I am thankful for the weeks that I have stayed here. I have received more than I could have asked for, and I am truly grateful!
I am Vivian in progress and I will continue my journey strengthened with what I have received from all of you and of course with all the experiences that life has given me throughout my entire existence. Thank you. Regards

I believe that, in this way, the universe wants the souls of the humans who were brought down to the earth to wake up. This is because the universe has a vision to create the earth with humans. That is the vision that has been there since the beginning of everything.
At present, humankind still seems to be in the midst of its path. However, if more and more people learn what you have learned through your life here, the mountainous and overflowing global problems will be easily solved. Those who are awakened to this fact know that the dawn is approaching.
At any rate, I am very happy that your efforts have yielded very good results. Thank you so much, and Muchas gracias!


After that, Vivian continued to stay, receiving presentations to broaden her view of the world, and experiencing various things every day.

In Nagano Prefecture with children on summer vacation

And the following month, Vivian’s Natural therapy program graduation concert was held.

Vivian’s graduation concert
Graduation gift dessert

The Konohana band sang some songs for her, and she read the following letter in front of everyone.

After my 55 day stay

After 55 days at the Kokohana Family I am proud to say that I have become a new person, my wounds from the past have been healed, and my life has been transformed. My time here represented a complete experience that helped me see the world from a different point of view where awareness and love were and will be my forever companions. I have received wise and essential guidance from Jiiji, and this was remarkably complemented by the support, care, love, and generosity from each of the members.

Every day had an extra surprise from each of you that made my days extraordinary. I appreciate the words in English that were said by each person, the greetings, the hugs, the delicious and nutritious food, the very unique enzyme juices, the kitchen tips, the books and pictures shared, the time in the fields, the customized food for me at Lotus Cafe, the clean clothes, the warm bath, the natural medicine when I needed it, the conversations, the acupuncture treatments, the English classes, the accurate and opportune translations, the smiles, the cats, the welcome serenades and performances, each of the fruits that I ate, the welcoming traditional Japanese baths, the care and dedication to each of your duties from which I learned so much.

There are many memories with not enough space and time to describe them. Nevertheless, I want the Konohana family to know that this place is a wonderland and an inspiration for the world, I wish everybody could have the opportunity that I had to live in a utopia. This family has given more love and compassion than all that I have received during my entire life, and for that I will be eternally grateful.

My time here has come to an end. However, I carry in my heart a new family of 100 members that I love and will remember forever. Thank you for making my soul shine and my days happy!

Vivian’s Soul Journey Continues


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