Chari has been participating in the “Truth School” which has been held from February 14th. She is 25 years old and her father is American and her mother is Japanese. Her purpose to take this course is to learn to draw the goodwill from other people, and she said it is her life mission. All the participants of the Truth School are supposed to write a journal every day and Isadon, the founder of the Konohana Family makes comments every other day. On the 7th day of the Truth School, she wrote in her journal as follows.
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I don’t see this “cute” girl you mention, Isadon. So it kind of makes me uncomfortable when you call me cute, because I feel like you’re saying it to try to help me be more confident rather than actually thinking I’m cute. When it’s cool, I’m becoming more confident being here in this wonderful environment you’ve created. You don’t need to tell me I’m cute for me to be confident. I want to know myself, feel confident, and do good work.
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And, a lot of feelings flooded in later and she requested to have a meeting with Isadon on the 9th day of the Truth School.
Chari:
Thank you for sitting with me today. There are so many things that I should work on for my ego. Probably, you may know about me better than I do.
Isadon:
I look at you objectively.
Chari:
Can I hear your objective viewpoint of me? I would like to learn from it.
Isadon:
People think they want to be seen in a certain manner. However, there is gap between the real you and your wish that you want to be seen like this. There is also a difference between the self that you see and your figure that other people see in common. The reality is your figure that many people see in common is your true self.
However, people who strongly think they want to be seen in a certain matter cannot accept your figure that other people see. It is important to match your perspective of yourself and other people’s perspective of you, which becomes the correct perspective of you. If there is a contradiction, people have worries.
Chari:
How can I be the way I am?
Isadon:
“Being the way I am” creates a question: which one is the way I am? That is, there are many ways to perceive the self. When emotions like “I want to be myself” function, you are talking about the self that you put in a specific image.
Chari:
Hahaha! Am I doing this??
Isadon:
If you think you are not, you are not. Contradictions and suffering emerge from such a state.
Chari:
Looking back on my life, when I was hanging out with my friends, I felt I was myself. However, if other people see me differently, am I not the way I am?
Isadon:
Which one do you think is the way you are? As I said, you have a specific image about yourself. You have some parts of yourself, and you divide them into the parts that you think are the way you are and are not the way you are. However, all the parts you like and do not like are true you.
Chari:
I am getting to understand the contradiction inside of me gradually. I feel like I know an answer already, but I have to go from here. I am going to live the way I am.
Isadon:
Where you see the truth is significant. There are many truths in this world.
Chari:
For example, I am against a superficial and material world that creates lots of waste. However, If I want to get a pair of shoes and live with such desires, I cannot keep myself focused on what world should be created. This is just an example.
Isadon:
What do you want to do with it?
Chari:
Now, I am doing what I think is right. I am learning about the spirituality and trying to develop my spirituality. Then, when I go back to the US, I would like to spread what I have learned to people around me.
Isadon:
If you would like to grow up spiritually, how are you going to do it?
Chari;
I am going to learn from the phenomena occurring to me and know what they are.
Isadon:
Let me give you a concrete example. You do not think you are cute.
Chari:
Not now!
Isadon:
I can see your feeling that you want to be cute behind the words of “Not now.” When I look at you, I think you are cute. That is why I say you are cute. On the contrary, it is your subjective viewpoint that you do not think you are cute. However, it is my freedom to think you are cute. I am not trying to lower you.
Chari:
I know you are not trying to do so!
Isadon:
Hahaha! So, I do not have any evil intention.
Chari:
I know that!
Isadon:
But, you accept my mind without the evil intention and you feel uncomfortable.
Chari:
If there are just two of us and you say I am cute, I would be happy and accept it willingly. However, when you say I am cute many times in front of everyone, I feel like you are saying this so that I can be confident.
Isadon:
You wrote that in your journal, too. I say something because I think like that. I am just honest.
Chari:
Yes!
Isadon:
However, you express a non-cute personality as a result!
Chari:
Hahaha! That is right!
Isadon:
After all, you are cute because your mind is trapped in such a tiny matter.
Chari:
Hahaha!
Isadon:
Actually, I have another thought. When I say you are cute, I mean you are childlike, so I want you to grow up. Chari, you are cute!!
Chari:
OK, I will grow up!!
Isadon:
Then, when you overcome the personality and go back to the US, you will be able to show a grown-up self to people around you.
Chari:
I will do it!
Isadon:
One more thing. When I talk, I do not think. My words come out instantly. For example, reflecting on the scenes where I say, “Chari, you are cute,” this is not the phrase which is not used just between two of us as my image. I think I should say this in front of everyone. Looking back on the scenes more deeply, what I mean is you should be an idol for everyone. The scene is telling you to be a person who is loved by everyone. However, the current you debase yourself, so you are not cute!
Chari:
That is right! You said I have a small capacity in the “Learning the Personality” course of the Truth School.
Isadon:
At first, you did not think your capacity is small.
Chari:
Yes, but actually, it is small!
Isadon:
Hahaha! That is why, I said to the participants of the Truth School many times that humans lie.
Chari:
But, I did not mean to lie!
Isadon:
Of course, you did not do it intentionally, but humans lie instinctively. Animals do not lie Isadon is more logical!
Chari:
Yes! As my tendency, I analyze things too much, so my worries and anxiety come out.
Isadon:
You might analyze things too much. However, for example, there is a target to be analyzed here. When we analyze it, we open the target and examine it everywhere thoroughly. However, you bring a target in front of you for analysis, you turn it over and examine it only partially. I feel your twisted personality from the beginning.
Chari:
From the beginning????
Isadon:
Your purpose of participating in this Truth School is your awakening. I have analyzed your personality in advance, wondering what I can do to support your awakening, and I observe and talk with you every day.
Chari:
I want to untwist it! In a past few years, there has been a gap between what I actually do and what is happening in my imagination. I want to be more active.
Isadon:
You mean you take actions, but there is a gap between your actions and your thoughts? I think there is something in the process of your thinking and doing. For example, you have unnecessary thoughts such as “Is it all right for me to do it?” or “If I do it, I might bring something bad.”
Chari:
Yes!
Isadon:
The smooth way of taking actions is first think, make adjustment for actions, and then take actions. After you receive a result, reflect on it. Reflecting with the result means reflecting the truth. However, if you think too much before you take actions, you think of something which is not real, and this is unnecessary energy. When thoughts expand, people get tired and draw an answer which would be different from the result. In short, you think of unnecessary things. You thinking pattern is not complicated, but you think too much. That is why people like you get tired easily.
Chari:
If I just think, do and receive results, I can live efficiently!
Isadon:
That is right. It is important to judge things after receiving results. However, you make an uncertain judgement before receiving results, so the timing of your judgement is too early.
Chari:
What you have just told me happened to me yesterday. The situation was getting worse and more confused.
Isadon:
Exactly.
Chari:
Yesterday morning, my feelings flooded in when I was writing a journal. I was still emotional in the morning class, so I tried to release my emotions. However, at the same time, I was holding on to them for some reason. There is no right or wrong, but I should have taken the process of doing things as you just told me.
Isadon:
When phenomenal occur, some people cannot accept the phenomenal that happened to them as the truth, and want to think they did not happen to them. Therefore, it is important to accept the phenomenal that happen to you as the truth. It is an attitude not to imagine what has not happened, and not to reject what has happened. If you always think of only what has happened, you will be able to perceive things efficiently, gracefully and willingly. This is a normal people’s efficient way of thinking.
Furthermore, if you let go of your speculation to various events, which is a state without your ego, you will realize all the phenomena are in the universal flow. Everything is the same as relationships of stars and the structure of the global ecosystem, so things manifest very efficiently. When you release your ego, and get on a good flow, an awareness that is different from your thoughts will come out. Then, things go smoothly and much better than you expect.
There is such an order in this world. The Truth School is the course to take the flow beyond the human wisdom into your life and live based on it.
Chari:
Yes! I am learning that right now.
Isadon:
Before that, you are preparing your mind for it. It is never too late! If possible, it would be good if you can understand it during the Truth School. Or, it is also all right if this course becomes an opportunity to master it in the future. I always hope when people live and blow a nice wind, a nice field will emerge naturally. In order to do so, first of all, it is important to be honest.
Chari:
Except for yesterday when I was so emotional, am I creating a good field?
Isadon:
Actually, you look sad.
Chari:
Yes! When I came to Konohana Family for the first time in November last year, Yoko said so. She said I look happy and I look sad once in a while. I remember I was so surprised to hear that.
Isadon:
Hahaha! You know Marineh, a main coordinator of the Truth School, don’t you? She was bright and made lots of jokes. However, I met her for the first time, I said to her, “You are a very gloomy person.” She was so surprised that I explained the reason of her gloomy personality. That is, she acted brightly in front of everyone because she wanted to be seen a bright person. Then, she got tired and when she was alone, she got gloomy. I taught her figure of times when she was not with us, not her figure of times with us together.
Chari:
I really understand what you mean! When I was younger, I was faking happiness. Then I was getting to understand who I am gradually through meditation and spiritual things to know my roots. And I feel genuine happiness. When I hang out with my friends, I really feel genuine happiness…. But, is it not a genuine happiness??
Isadon:
Humans lie!
Chari:
What??? Was I not really happy?
Isadon:
Putting aside if you are happy or not, the fact is you have taken such a path in your life.
Chari:
Do you mean I have been faking happiness?
Isadon:
It seems like happiness is your life theme. People who say if they are happy or not have a thought that they have been unhappy in their life.
Chari:
Hahaha!
Isadon
Were you that unhappy??
Chari:
The reason why I am talking about happiness is you talked about Marineh. You said, she feels genuine happiness after you told her the truth. That is why, I am talking about happiness.
Isadon:
I was not talking about her happiness. She acted abnormally brightly, so I said to her, “You are a gloomy person,” imagining her different figure. Then, she said, “Really?” but later she could tell the truth, saying “I am rally gloomy.” Aside from if she has become happy or not, she has become eased as a result.
Observing you, I think it is suitable for you to be bright with everyone. I have such an image, so I say, “Chari, you are cute!” You want to be such a person, too.
Chari:
I am getting to know it is my gift.
Isadon:
Yes, that is your true self. I know a state where your true self shines is cute, so I say you are cute. In a sense, this is a divine message. I have no responsibility! I am just telling you the truth.
Chari:
Thank you! I am going to reveal myself more from now on.
Isadon:
That is good. If so, a nice wind blows anywhere among people. YOU and the main character in your life! If your mind is broad and open, a comfortable field will emerge naturally. However, if your mind is narrow, you will face only yourself, and even there are people who do not face themselves. Everything is up to your mind.
Chari:
Exactly! Thank you for taking time with me today!
Isadon:
Let’s have time to talk together again.
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One-third of the Truth School has ended. How is Chari’s true self going to blossom in the future? When each one of us becomes awakened and interlocks with each other, then we can blossom a beautiful world together.
